Tuning in to the Higher Self in Toxic Work and Toxic Workplaces
I was recently invited to provide some professional training to a group of individuals who provide front line trauma support to the community. During the morning break, a participant approached me to discuss a point I had made in the presentation that resonated with her. In that conversation, she also spoke about some of the frustrations and limitations she feels in helping the individuals that she engages both in her role and in her workplace. When I asked her what, specifically, she does to manage this frustration, she simply responded “I have a higher self that I tune in to”.
This comment, while I have heard various versions of before, struck me like a thunderbolt. We come to first responder and front line trauma work as a way to accomplish many things; we seek interesting and challenging interactions, we feel a pull towards a greater good, we feel connection and attunement with others and we have a sense of accomplishment often in the work, just to name a few. To me, this all leads to feeding our “higher selves”. However, tensions with clients and colleagues as well as management and systemic challenges make it difficult to stay connected with a sense of our higher selves on a daily basis.
For many, we know immediately when we are in sync with our higher selves. Often, we can sense this physically in a feeling of calm and ease with the task or person before us. This sometimes occurs when we realize that our interaction with someone has had an empowering or motivating impact or perhaps when we have seen the warmth of appreciation from another for our service. We also are keenly aware when we are not in sync with our higher selves. This can often occur as a result of feeling negatively impacted by our organizations and/or some of the defeating aspects of our work. The primary problem with knowing that we are not stepping in to our higher selves is the negative downward spiral and the self talk that accompanies this. The more we feel distant from the person we want to be, the more negative we feel about ourselves. And, downward we go.
In the many years that I have been engaged in front line trauma work, I know how difficult and yet how important it is to continually check in with our higher selves. The moments of “success” in our work, depending on your role and how you define success, can often be few and far between. Maintaining a sense of your higher self in this work is one of the foundations of coping on a daily basis. Here are some examples of how we are thrown off by maintaining our higher self in the work:
You arrive at work and are told by the receptionist that the colleague who was scheduled to cover intake that day has called in sick (this seems to happen a great deal when that particular colleague is scheduled). You are told that you will need to cover the intake phones which, you are well aware, will be a constant distraction from returning client calls and catching up on overdue paper work. Your frustration hits a peak and you find yourself venting to another colleague about the situation (a habit you normally refrain from). You find that your thoughts that day continue to be negative and this translates to less patience than normal when clients are calling in. You are doing an adequate job in supporting them but you know this is not your best work. How do you step in to your higher self?
You can plug any personalizing detail in to the above story to match a day in your work, I am certain. The best attempts to manage the demands of working within organizations can become derailed and it is a feat of determination to maintain your self control, at times.
Tuning in to your higher self in these situations may look like this:
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Asking for what you need. It is not reasonable to have the expectation of yourself of 100% compliance without some advocacy on your own behalf. We are very good at advocating for our clients but not as much for ourselves. You still may not get what you need but the act of asking for it and knowing that you have done your best is tapping in to your higher self. It is important to then know you have done what you can to manage the situation and perhaps follow up at a later time with leaders in the organization to establish boundaries around these kinds of situations in future.
Have an “emergency” plan. It is important to recognize when we are feeling out of touch with our higher selves and maintain an “escape plan” that will lead you back. Recognize and be open to the moments when you feel irritated, resentful, angry, disempowered and depleted; notice these moments and become a curious observer. These are key signs that we are not optimal in our work (however you personally define that) and need a shift to step back in to our own goals in the work. Take a sacred pause (see previous journal entries for this) Perhaps engage a trusted colleague to help you with the “escape plan” when necessary and ask that colleague to help you tune in to your focus and goals of the work.
Practice skills when you are not activated by the work on a daily basis. I’ve heard this again and again, it takes a long time (21 days, 30 days depending on the source) for new behaviour to become habit. If we know the brain is wired to focus on the negative (for survival purposes) then we know it is particularly difficult to train it to see the positive. For certain, it is easier to practice training on the positive before you become activated. Perhaps, keeping an ongoing list of your own personal “intention” in showing up for work, for example: positive interactions with colleagues, successful interventions with clients and the community, etc. as a way of keeping track of those things that activate and train your brain to focus on the higher self. (see Rick Hanson’s post on the brain’s “negativity bias” http://www.rickhanson.net/how-your-brain-makes-you-easily-intimidated)
Essentially, I think the “higher self” is that person that we seek to be when others are watching us closely and when we watch ourselves closely. We want to be seen as effective in our roles, good supportive colleagues and providing some good back to the people who seek our help, among many things. We hope that the work in our organizations has some ease; that not everything is a struggle and that we can find a like-minded group of people who share our values. When we do find those folks, we feel a sense of calm and connectedness; belonging.
What else comes to mind when you think of your “higher self” in your professional world? Most often, it is similar to what we think of our values and priorities in our personal world however I do believe it is important to keep each interconnected but not the same. Stepping in and out of our two worlds, professional and personal, is an important transition in order to feel we have good boundaries between the two. For certain, front line trauma work often overlaps professional and personal higher selves but it is also important to denote where they differ.
The Higher Self is an evolving and changing process depending on many influences in our identity and self awareness. I like the idea that I am accountable to a higher self within me as it grounds the way I operate and allows for accountability day to day; I am watching me!
I am grateful to the lovely participant who brought this idea into my life of “tuning in to the higher self”. The teacher arrives at the moment the student is ready, once again.
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