The Surrogacy of Resilience – Sandy Hooks Killings
Updated – The Tragic Killing of 3 RCMP Officers in Moncton, NB
Originally posted on Dec 17/12; Updated for post June 5, 2014
The images in the news today of the latest senseless tragedy and killing leave us all desperate for understanding; trying to make sense of a senseless incident. The level of traumatic loss in the news of late is overwhelming and leave many grasping to manage what to do with the complex feelings and emotions. It is especially important for those of us who work with individuals experiencing trauma on the frontline to find a way to sit with suffering.
It has been a long held belief of mine, as a frontline trauma worker, that my task is to learn to develop some kind of stance to react in situations that seem hopeless, helpless and devastating. I recall, in many instances, when working with families who have lost loved ones suddenly and tragically that I need, more than ever, to maintain my energy of hope and connection to resilience. In times when our clients and our communities have lost their hope and belief in their own ability to survive, we must carry and emit that energy for them. Almost as though being in our presence as a collective, that energy will remain a resource to them in a temporary (often, long term) time when they cannot connect with their belief of their own ability to survive the unimaginable. Speaking words of encouragement in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy is often not helpful or absorbed but energy is different, altogether.
As humans, we are built to survive; we are biologically resilient. What you think you cannot withstand, you ultimately do get through. While all around have lost this hope, what the world needs most is an outpouring of energy from us that says, unspoken, “you will survive this”; “you will get through”……so, as you are compassionately drawn to the images in the media of the latest tragic, senseless event – please search for even the smallest sign of hope; people connecting and physically providing comfort, trained professionals who run into buildings and neighbourhoods that others are being ordered to run out of, those who are still standing, breathing, moving forward with their pain. Search for signs of resilience – ever so small – and join with that versus feeling bad for the victims and their families. With great effort, manifest strength on their behalf until they can find it themselves; send them the mantra “I will help you with this; take some of my strength as you need”.
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They don’t need our pity – they need our unbounded strength and belief in the form of our energy that will give them the collective hope and resilience to keep moving forward. Join with their courage, resolve, determination, perseverance not their sadness.
We are all one – we are the keepers of hope when others cannot hold it; the surrogacy of resilience.
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